Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All

Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth About Extreme Misogyny and How it Affects Us All is a nonfiction book by feminist writer and activist Laura Bates. It examines the misogyny that pervades online communities and traces its gradual infiltration into mainstream culture, arguing that this results in real-world consequences and violence against women. To gather material for this book, Bates spent a year researching and infiltrating the sprawling group of online communities known as the “manosphere.” She recounts her findings and firsthand experiences with the extremist, male supremacist beliefs they share and promote. 

Laura Bates is a prominent feminist whose campaigns and activism have helped highlight gender discrimination and shape policies in the US and UK. Men Who Hate Women is her fifth book and has received critical acclaim since its publication in 2020.

This guide refers to the 2023 paperback edition published by Source Books.

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of gender discrimination, racism, bullying, physical abuse, emotional abuse, graphic violence, cursing, rape, death by suicide, suicidal ideation, sexual violence and harassment, and death. 

Summary

In the introduction to Men Who Hate Women, Bates argues that extreme misogyny and violence against women have become normalized. She says that the book will focus on the “manosphere,” which is an interconnected web of online groups promoting extreme misogyny and violent hatred of women. She warns that these groups should not be dismissed as harmless or fringe and that their harmful rhetoric infiltrates public life.

The first chapter explores the “incel”—or involuntarily celibate—community, a group in the manosphere that is defined by members’ romantic or sexual rejection. Bates explores how these men often harbor deep resentment toward women and a belief that women are the source of all men’s problems. This community, Bates warns, promotes the dehumanization of women, resulting in real-life acts of violence.

In Chapter 2, Bates shifts her focus to pickup artistry (PUA), a manosphere group that teaches men manipulative tactics and psychological tricks to “seduce” women and coerce them into sexual acts. While the PUA community thrives under the guise of self-help, Bates reveals the harmful and misogynistic beliefs and actions it promotes. Pickup artists objectify women, viewing them as sexual objects to be controlled. They encourage men to ignore women’s resistance to sexual advances, thereby promoting sexual harassment and even rape. Bates highlights some of the PUA community’s most prominent figures and shows how they often downplay their misogyny to make their ideas palatable to a wider audience.

Chapter 3 introduces MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way), a movement of men who reject traditional relationships with women altogether, believing that women are inherently deceitful, untrustworthy, and detrimental to men’s well-being and advancement. Bates examines how MGTOW members actively discourage any interactions with women, resulting in justification for sexist behavior like gender-based workplace discrimination.

Chapter 4 explores Men’s Rights Activists (MRA), a group that claims to advocate for men’s issues but often does so in ways that place heavy blame on women and perpetuate gender inequality. The MRA community is characterized by its focus on perceived injustices against men, particularly in areas such as divorce, child custody, and false rape accusations. Bates explores how the MRA rhetoric often distorts facts and amplifies grievances to create a false narrative of male victimhood, using this as a justification for vilifying women and the feminist movement.

Chapter 5 examines online trolls—people who engage in online harassment and abuse. Trolls use social media platforms to spread misogynistic messages and target women with verbal abuse and threats to their physical safety. Bates argues that online trolling is not harmless, as many people may think, but rather a means of amplifying hate and aggression and threatening women into silence. She highlights the psychological toll this abuse takes on its survivors, particularly women who speak out online, and criticizes social media platforms for failing to take appropriate action to protect these women from harassment.

Chapter 6 delves into the pervasiveness of domestic abuse and how women’s abuse at the hands of men has been normalized worldwide. Bates explores how the rampant physical and sexual abuse of women is connected to the manosphere and the harmful ideas it promotes. She highlights how these ideologies justify and rationalize abusive behavior. She calls on the media and society to take misogynist hate crimes seriously, pointing out the overlap between domestic abuse and acts of terrorism and mass violence.

In Chapter 7, Bates explores how the manosphere and its figureheads exploit and profit from the vulnerable men who turn to these spaces for a sense of community. These figures use their platforms to sell books, courses, and seminars, and to solicit donations. However, they directly contribute to the issues men face due to their support for rigid gender roles and expectations. Bates argues that that manosphere is thus harmful both because of the misogynistic vitriol it promotes and the way it takes advantage of men’s emotional and psychological struggles, deepening their sense of isolation and resentment.

Chapter 8 argues that the manosphere capitalizes on men’s fear, particularly in the wake of the #MeToo movement. In response to women speaking out about sexual harassment and violence, the manosphere promotes a widespread fear of false accusations targeting men and destroying their lives and careers. Bates argues that the movement has exacerbated the fear of male victimhood in society, pushing men further into defensive, misogynistic rhetoric.

Chapter 9 explores how the manosphere specifically targets young men and boys. They may come to accept misogynistic extremism without realizing it because of the pervasiveness of the community’s messaging. Bates highlights how vulnerable young men and boys are introduced to this type of content through seemingly innocuous sources, such as gaming communities or memes, and they are then manipulated into adopting toxic, misogynistic beliefs. This chapter highlights the importance of addressing the rise of misogynistic extremism among young men to prevent these ideologies from persisting into future generations.

Finally, Chapter 10 explores strategies for combatting manosphere rhetoric and its harmful effects on both women and men. Bates highlights strategies at the governmental, societal, and individual level to address misogynistic extremism. She challenges counterterrorism organizations to take the threat to women seriously, criticizes social media platforms for pushing extremist content and failing to protect women from online harassment, and encourages parents to engage with the content their children consume. Bates concludes with a call to confront misogynist extremism directly, asserting that action and awareness are key to tackling the divisiveness and violence perpetrated by the manosphere.